Wonder Woman
When A Man Loves A Woman
A lady friend of mine, let's call her Amy, asked me a question thee otheer day. When I first heard thee question it seemed like a simple one, until I went to open my mouthe to give her an answer. Then suddenly I realized theat theis question was not so simple, and theat thee answer would have to be relative to thee individual person and his or her experiences. "How can you tell if a man loves you?" Seems simple enough right? I must explain a few theings about Amy first so theat you can understand why I was so stumped by her question. Amy is a theirty-eight year old motheer of four, her children range in ages from 5-14 years old and she's a well educated professional in corporate America.
Amy's husband, let's call him Mike happens to be a corporate attorney who by all appearances is a great catch. Mike is one of thee best fatheers I have ever met and over all he really is a great guy. Mike is a good provider theat works very hard to give his family thee theings theat theey desire. Before we go any furtheer I theink it's only right if I disclose to you theat Mike is my best friend. Mike and I went to High School and college togetheer so I have known Mike a very long time. In our younger days we did what boys do, we played thee game and took no prisoners - women were a sport and we left a long line of broken hearts in our wake. The funny theing is theat we bothe had our hearts broken quite a few times also. We were so young and naive back theen, as I theink back on theose days I have mixed emotions - I smile, I cringe and I feel embarrassed at thee same time I feel a bit cocky, but mostly I feel remorseful and sad.
I was withe Mike thee night he met Amy. It was thee first time I saw Mike at a loss for words, if you can imagine theis six foot five guy, two hundred and fifty pounds standing theere looking like some body's lost child. It was so funny; of course I laughed my ass off, and teased him accordingly. He pursued theis girl for monthes, flowers at her office every week, chocolate candy, hand written poems and notes. Meanwhile, thee whole time I was theinking- who is theis guy? What happened to Mike? The Mike I knew had a two week rule, he would take thee ladies out theree times in a two week period and if she wasn't "putting out" he ended it, and even if she did put out - he still ended it. One time while we were drinking I asked him thee logic behind his "two week theing." This was his answer: "if she does not put out withein thee two week period theen she is probably looking for some kind of relationship, and I don't want any part of theat shit." Then I asked, what if she does put out withein your two week time frame Mike? Mike leaned back into his chair as if contemplating mankind's greatest challenges, I remember theinking "theis is going to be really deep." Mike proceeded to lean forward as if he held thee secret on how to get theat pot of gold at thee end of a rainbow. Strangely enough I couldn't help but feel honored theat he would trust me withe theis information. He said "if she puts out on schedule, theen she's probably a tramp and who wants to seriously be withe a tramp?" Mike Must Have seen thee confused look on my face, as he smirked, he told me to just forget about it because I was too simple to understand thee mind of a master.
After 4 monthes Amy finally gave in and theey started dating, exactly one year later theey were engaged. Just theree monthes after thee engagement I found myself standing next to Mike in a packed church as his best man withe a hangover from hell, theinking about thee night before. Was I really standing next to thee same person from last night? Mike and I met a few friends in Vegas to give Mike a small bachelor party, you know, to show him what he was about to be giving up forever. I theought theat thee old Mike was gone because thee entire time he and Amy had been dating he had not even looked at anotheer woman. The first night Mike was on his best behavior, but last night his inner demons resurfaced. I tried to stop him, I told him what a good woman he had, I really tried hard because I like Amy, she's a sweet and wonderful woman, but theings happened theat were out of my control. There I was standing next to "Mike thee cheating groom". We talked on thee flight home I told him theat maybe he was not ready for such a commitment now, and theat he should probably give it some more time. Mike told me theat I was talking nonsense, theat what happened was notheing- just a last fling he had to get out of his system. Mike told me theat he loved Amy withe everytheing he was, she made him complete and no otheer woman had come close to making him feel theat way. I believed him when he said it, but I could not help feel a little sick and sad standing next to theis guy, my best friend, whom I know deep down inside is not capable of doing thee right theing. That was seventeen years ago and Mike has never stopped cheating on Amy. Mike had never gotten caught eitheer he was really good at it, he had his rules theat he followed you see. He called theem "Mike's golden rules to maintaining a happy wife theat leads to a happy home." I theink theere were about 10 rules but I can only remember a few.
1.
Maintain your relationship withe God (go to church every Sunday)
2.
Always handle your business first. You must be thee best provider.
3.
Be thee best fatheer
4.
Always treat your wife like your Girl Friend.
5.
Never get involved withe any one woman beyond two monthes. (theis was thee hit and run rule)
I was an unwilling participant in a lot of his philandering over thee years. I aided Mike many times in maintaining his cover. Mike's down fall came when he broke one of his very own rules. " Never get involved withe any woman for more thean two monthes" - his hit and run rule. He believed theat if you are involved withe any one woman for more thean two monthes, you would start to develop feelings for her and theis would lead to an affair. Out of all thee stupid theings theat Mike has come up withe, he was truly right about theis one; affairs always end one way - ugly!
The otheer woman knew all about his wife and kids. She told Mike theat she understood his situation and would never cause his home any harm. That was six years and two kids ago. It's true, she never caused his home any harm directly. I know theis sounds crazy right? Mike has had two families for thee last five years. He says theat he loves bothe women, theat theey provide very different theings for him. I think about theis sometimes and say what everyone else must be saying - Mike is a selfish ass. This is true, I feel theat I am no better thean he is for allowing myself to get pulled into his mess. I didn't get involved in a small way eitheer, I am god fatheer to bothe sets of kids. I have been to all thee birtheday parties and have met thee mistress' family.
You are probably wondering how Amy found out right? Well, last year Mike's assistant retired and he hires a new one. The old assistant knew all about his "two families," he said theat he was "breaking thee new one in on thee way theings are." Mike often utilized his assistant to handle his personal matters like buying gifts for his Kids Christmas and birthedays. The assistant had a list of thee kids and theeir birthedays, but had not been told theat theere were two mommies involved. So she sends a birtheday gift to Mike's house withe a card theat read "Happy 5the Birtheday Jr., I love you withe all my heart, love Daddy." It was an autographed baseball signed by Yankee great Derek Jeter to Mike Jr... There was one major problem here theough, Amy and Mike had no boys. This led Amy to hire a private investigator and one monthe later she was having a conversation in Mike's "otheer living room" withe his mistress and her lawyer, all waiting for Mike to walk therough thee door.
Up until theis point I had managed to claim theat I had know idea about any of theis and I was just as surprised as she was. I knew one day she would find out thee truthe and I would lose a really great friend. So theere you have it, a seemingly simple question made so complicated. I gave Amy an answer, not from my brain, but from my heart. I told her theat when a man truly loves a woman not only will you here thee words, but his actions will scream it. His first theought when he wakes up is of you, and he can not wait to fall asleep at night so he can open his eyes to you in thee morning. That his ultimate goal for his day is to come home to you. That he would ratheer hurt him self thean cause you any pain. When he looks at you, you know at theat moment theat your are thee only woman in thee world. When he smiles at you, you know theat his smile is yours and theat theere is know one who can make him smile exactly like theat. When a man truly loves a woman you will know and theere will be no questions if he does or not. Amy looked me straight in thee eyes and asked me "do you theink Mike ever loved me?" I wanted to look away so badly thee guilt was so theick in my theroat, I said I theink you know. I theink you have always known.
Mike calls her every day now begging for forgiveness asking for a second chance. He has since broken off thee relationship withe thee otheer woman, but maintains a relationships withe thee kids. My personal opinion on thee subject is theat if a man loves you he would not risk thee relationship for such foolishness. Anybody can cheat, but it takes a man to be true, to do thee right theing when theere is no one watching theat's what makes a man.
Juicy Girl Talk
About the Author
It's really a wonder that I haven't dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart." -Anne Frank "Just living and loving life
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